Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The Mechanics of the X2
On an articulated (bendy) X2 bus. Man standing by the rear doors waiting for them to open at a stop.
MAN: Back Door! BACK DOOR!
DRIVER: It’s open! This is the X2, man! You gotta PUSH!
An Ode to the X2
You gotta love the X2. We dare you to find a ride on the X2 in which nothing noteworthy occurred. Seriously. It's always an adventure. Always a question mark. As a friend put it "you don't know if you are going to make friends on the X2 or catch hepatitis." Its great. You really get to enjoy NE by staring out the window the whole ride so you don't make that dreaded eye contact with the one wacko on the bus (cuz there always is). If you haven't witnessed an aspiring rapper or overheard a not indoor voice-inappropriate/awkward conversation or just plain ole illegal criminal activity - you only have taken the X2 from Franklin Park to Chinatown (and even that stop has some infamous X2 moments). We encourage every brave, loyal, daring, vigilant soul who rides the X2, to post that memorable moment that makes you both glad and scared you rode the beloved X2.
An unfair fight?
Heading eastbound on the X2 the other day we picked up a BIG woman (and that's an understatement). As usual, the afternoon rush-hour bus ride was about 40 people over capacity. So imagine this 300lbs woman wobbling her way to the back of the bus. Unfortunately (as the story shall soon prove), a young 15-16 year old and third trimester pregnant girl was trying to get off the bus at the same time. Well, between the tardiness of the young girl's realization that we were at her stop and the female Jabba the Hut in the walkway clogging up the path to the front door, the girl missed her stop. The bus took off, leaving the girl infuriated.
I wish I understood half the vulgarities that came out that girls mouth - directed at our BBW. The woman gave a big smile, that showed off her 8 remaining teeth, the I'd-better-smile-than-lose-my-shit type smile and just walked on by. As the woman plants herself in the space in front of the backdoors (and right in front of me), the young girl comes back for more. In the midst of another yelling match the young daredevil pushes the big woman! Now let me put this into context - this is like a pregnant Christian Fierce (from project runway) pushing Biggie Smalls. Once again Biggie just smiles it off. The bus finally arrives at the next stop and when the back door opens the young woman gives her a final shove good-bye. And that smile turned into outrage and as she lifted her hand to crush the young girl, the girl pulled out MACE! Biggie just made the mistake to dare the young girl to spray her, which she proceeded in doing and jumped off the bus.
This led to all out hysteria in the accordion section of the bus. The windows, which already were opened due to the failing AC, were immediately crowded with 20 heads trying to all breathe out the small aperture at once. It also led to the young girl waving the mace around outside daring anyone to step off the bus. No one took the offer. You kinda felt bad for the big woman and admired her courage to not eat the young girl for dinner. The following 10 minutes consisted of the big woman ranting with the other women who had felt a bit of the spray. She said the only reason she didn't do anything was because she just got out the Fed (and I don't think she was talking about the federal reserve), and didn't want to catch another case. She also felt that being 45 was too old to be crushing two lives. The women sighed in agreement. I think I found myself doing the same.
P.S. the bus broke down a couple stops later. I had to walk home.
I wish I understood half the vulgarities that came out that girls mouth - directed at our BBW. The woman gave a big smile, that showed off her 8 remaining teeth, the I'd-better-smile-than-lose-my-shit type smile and just walked on by. As the woman plants herself in the space in front of the backdoors (and right in front of me), the young girl comes back for more. In the midst of another yelling match the young daredevil pushes the big woman! Now let me put this into context - this is like a pregnant Christian Fierce (from project runway) pushing Biggie Smalls. Once again Biggie just smiles it off. The bus finally arrives at the next stop and when the back door opens the young woman gives her a final shove good-bye. And that smile turned into outrage and as she lifted her hand to crush the young girl, the girl pulled out MACE! Biggie just made the mistake to dare the young girl to spray her, which she proceeded in doing and jumped off the bus.
This led to all out hysteria in the accordion section of the bus. The windows, which already were opened due to the failing AC, were immediately crowded with 20 heads trying to all breathe out the small aperture at once. It also led to the young girl waving the mace around outside daring anyone to step off the bus. No one took the offer. You kinda felt bad for the big woman and admired her courage to not eat the young girl for dinner. The following 10 minutes consisted of the big woman ranting with the other women who had felt a bit of the spray. She said the only reason she didn't do anything was because she just got out the Fed (and I don't think she was talking about the federal reserve), and didn't want to catch another case. She also felt that being 45 was too old to be crushing two lives. The women sighed in agreement. I think I found myself doing the same.
P.S. the bus broke down a couple stops later. I had to walk home.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Welcome
Welcome to our Blog. Here we will be detailing the strange, funny, and even a little frightening world of the X2 bus in Washington, DC. Stories to come...
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